Many couples fear bringing a child into the world in less than ideal circumstances. Admittedly, many children are born into painful, desolate circumstances across the globe each day. Even in a largely prosperous nation such as the U.S., many families struggle.
Your struggles may be material or financial in nature. Maybe you don’t have good relationships with your parents or you lack a good support network. Maybe you know people will look down on you for having a baby at this time and place in your life, or maybe you fear that you will not be able to finish college and establish a good career. As you support your wife or girlfriend through this decision-making process, these are legitimate obstacles that you need to address.
However, none of these obstacles are insurmountable.
We all know people who have faced challenging circumstances and made it through to discover some unforeseen purpose in the midst of pain. The truth is, if we depend upon circumstances to be perfect in order for us to feel happy, secure, and at peace in life, we will probably only rarely experience any of those things. Often, there is little we can control about circumstances, yet we must learn how to discover happiness and peace even in the midst of difficult ones.
Perhaps you did everything possible (short of not having sex) to prevent pregnancy. In spite of your efforts, you are facing what you tried to prevent. If the two of you choose to terminate the pregnancy, maybe your troubles will seem to be over, but there are two realities you must confront:
- You have forfeited any potential purpose a child could have brought to your lives and to others in this world.
- Abortion does not just affect women. It affects men too. Even if you feel initial relief after the abortion is complete, guilt, grief, and a host of other psychological issues can surface later that may manifest in depression, addictions, or even violence and mar the successful, thriving life you wanted to have.
Although abortion may seem like the best path because you see exactly where it leads, absolute closure may prove to be an illusion. However, if the two of you choose to continue this pregnancy, though you don’t know exactly what will happen or how you will overcome all the obstacles, you may find that things do work out well and possibilities emerge.
We encourage you to weigh these aspects as you make your decision. You are not alone; others have overcome the challenging circumstances they face. It is possible for you to overcome yours as well.